New sexual health clinic is launched
New Post Leader
The service, part of Northumberland Sexual Health Service which is run by Northumbria Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust, opened this week in the Thomas Knight Day Unit at Blyth Community Hospital. The new premises offer a range of sexual health ...
UN report: Richer countries advance women's equality and sexual health care ...
Richer countries have made advances toward equality for women and provided greater access to sexual and reproductive health care over the past 20 years ? but the poorest countries have made little progress, according to a U.N. report released ...
Haiti HIV program increases sexual health awareness and practices in women
Carmen Logie, assistant professor in the Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work, demonstrated that marginalized and displaced women in Leogane, Haiti, can measurably impact mental and sexual health behaviours in their village. Leogane was at the ...
Govt calls for overhaul of sex education
New Zealand Herald
The proposal has come from Parliament's health select committee after a cross-party inquiry which found New Zealand's high teenage-pregnancy rate was partly the result of inconsistent and sometimes non-existent sexual and reproductive lessons in ...
Brits propose Gay role-play for school sex-ed
Talk to Your Child/Youth About Sex
Chatham Daily News
Parents and caregivers are an essential part of any child/adolescent's growth and development. They provide the foundation for a child's good health and wellbeing and are viewed as the child's first teacher and most influential role model in shaping ...
Much has changed in my life over the last few years. One change is that I've become very active with Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance. Another is that I've become even more active with my union. This latter change has created a problem for Sex In The Public Square: I have very little time to maintain this site. Fortunately, the former change provides the solution: I will now be blogging at Woodhull's web site. You will find my blog featured on the home page at http://woodhullalliance.org and it will have its own page at http://www.woodhullalliance.org/category/sex-in-the-public-square/.
I'm excited by the move. I'll be joining folks like first amendment attorney Larry Walters, sexual freedom and education scholar-advocate Marty Klein, and the folks at AVN in providing commentary for Woodhull.
This site will remain here as an archive. Comments will be turned off and new content will not appear. Please join us over at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance and be part of a bigger conversation!
Two stories about gender and children caught my eye, over the last couple days. They are not at all connected to each other, but the more I thought about them, the more I realized that they illustrate very different responses to gender inequality, and that those different responses say a lot, potentially, about the structure and culture of gender in two different societies: Canada and India.
The first story was making the rounds a few days ago on Yahoo! News. It tells the story of the Witterick-Stocker family, of Toronto, who have decided not to share the sex of their 4 month old baby Storm with anyone other than immediate family and the midwives who assisted with the delivery.
The second is a story I read in the New York Times yesterday morning, and it tells of increased rates of sex-selective abortions among well-off, well-educated women in India. Specifically, it reports on a study recently published in The Lancet, documenting the spread of sex-selective abortion practices across India over the past 20 years. The study placed particular focus on the decisions made about second children when the first child was a girl.
What a world apart, both literally and figuratively.
In one society there is gender inequality but yet enough freedom that a family might decide to challenge the social structuring of gender by refusing to label their child. Theoretically this frees the child to take full advantage of those equalities that do exist and might remove some of the barriers to equality that remain. Storm's parents explain their choice in relation to this very freedom, according to Zachary Roth's Yahoo! article:
Stocker and Witterick say the decision gives Storm the freedom to choose who he or she wants to be. "What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It's obnoxious," adds Stocker, a teacher in an alternative school.
In the other society, gender is so powerful in the structuring of inequality that parents use it to choose whether or not a child should exist. Girls are understood to be liabilities where boys are understood to be assets. Parents with means will apparently tolerate one girl, but not a second. Education and wealth are associated with better access to health services so a family wanting to limit its liabilities and maximize its assets use the illegal practice of sex-selective abortion to end pregnancies where the fetus is categorized as female. The impact is dramatic, demographically. According to Jim Yardley's New York Times article:
The 2011 Indian census found 914 girls for every 1,000 boys among children 6 six or younger, the lowest ratio of girls since the country gained independence in 1947. The new study estimated that 4 million to 12 million selective abortions of girls have occurred in India in the past three decades.
We should see both stories in terms of social structure and inequality, and not purely in terms of individual choices. Storm's parents are making an individual choice, but they are doing so in a way that directly challenges the structure of the society they live in, and they are doing so because they dislike the constraints those structures impose. Any given pair of well-off parents in India are also making choices in reaction to the constraints of social structure, and are doing so in a way that reinforces the structural constraint they are individually trying to avoid.
Parents should be free to choose whether or not to have a child. Children should be free to decide how to identify themselves. But our individual choices are not always as individual as we think, and often they have collective unintended consequences when we add them all up. And some of those consequences are much likely than others to move a society in the direction of justice and freedom for all.
From page A18 of the May 24 edition of the New York Times
What do you think? This Bloomingdales ad for Rag & Bone Jeans ($165.00) and silk Equipment top ($178.00) contains the tag line "MEET YOUR NEW MUST-HAVE" and depicts an Asian model staring into the camera with her lips parted. It accompanies an article with the headline "In Oakland, Redefining Sex Trade Workers as Abuse Victims" which, among many things, criticizes the 'exoticization' of Asian women in the US.
The article can be found online at: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/us/24oakland.html
Ten is the number of bodies that have been found on Long Island's southern beaches since December. The first four, all found between December 11 abd 13, were confirmed to be the remains of women who had had some experience in sex work. The next was found on March 29. Three more were found on April 4, and two were found today. The identities of those most recently found have not been determined, and police have not made a definitive statement about whether all of the murders are connected.
So far, none has turned out to be Shannon Gilbert, the search for whom turned up these other victims.
I suspect they will turn out to be related, victims of a serial killer who targets women who, among all of the other things that they do in their lives, also exchange sex for money.
SWOP-NYC has responded with a statement that rightly reminds us that the dangers of sex work are the dangers of stigmatization and isolation, and not particular to the exchange of sex for something else of value.
I just spent three days at my statewide union's Representative Assembly where health and safety was one of the key concerns. There was a singificant focus on framing issues in human rights terms. There was a lot of talk about the dignity of all humans, and the dignity of all labor. I was even impressed that when the issue of trafficking and children came up, the focus was on slave labor in the cocoa fields of Ivory Coast, and not a lurid focus on sex trafficking.
But I don't think my union would stand up publicly for sex workers. Not yet.
I spent a couple of hours on Saturday at a huge labor rally in Times Square. I am sure there were people attending that rally who, in addition to all the other things they do, have also exchanged sex for money. But I did not see any sex worker advocacy signs in the block where I was standing.
We still separate sex from the rest of work, from the rest of pleasure, and essentially from most of everyday life.
The longer we relegate sex to the dark corners of our political and social discourse, the longer we will continue to find bodies hidden in the reeds of our beaches, long undiscovered because they were marginalized from the start.
Sexual freedom, including the consensual exchange of sex for other things of value, must come to be seen a fundamental human right. Sex is a valuable thing. The right to physical autonomy and the right to sexual pleasure and the right to earn a decent living all intersect in the phenomenon of sex work.
Stand up publicly for your own right, and the right of others, to safely determine the conditions of each sexual exchange we make.
Photo is by Karl Monaghan (Red_Tzar on Flickr) and is used under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share Alike license.
Are you a union member, or a friend or family member of a union member? If so, please come out. Please identify yourself that way in conversations. Please stand up for unions and for the basic worker rights that they protect.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics in 2010, only 11.9 percent of workers in the US were represented by unions, and that number is only as high as it is because about a third of public sector workers are union members.
What does this have to do with sexuality? First of all, without unions there can be no economic justice in a capitalist society, and without economic justice, sexual freedom is impossible in any meaningful way. To fully realize our sexual freedom we need basic economic security.
Second, there is a lot to be learned from the coming out campaigns of the LGBT movement. When we are visible we reveal ourselves, making ourselves vulnerable, but we also become three dimensional human beings to those who have previously seen us as one-dimensional stereotypes.
Third, there is something similar about taking a part of your life, a part of yourself, a part that you perhaps take for granted, and making it a part of your identity. I am not just a professor, I am a union member. I am not just a clerk, I am a union member. I am not just a groundskeeper, I am a union member. Union membership is something we often see as part of the background of our lives, and we need to bring it into the foreground. Again, LGBT activism gives us a model for doing this.
In tough economic times it is easy for people to villify or demonize a small group of people who are represented in the press as greedy, lazy, and selfish. Especially if you don't have any reason to suspect that real live union members are any different from that representation.
But that's not who we are, and it seems to me that the only way for unions to turn the tide that is undermining them now is if we each come out of the union closet and identify ourselves to our friends and neighbors so they see us as the hard-working, community-minded, caring and dedicated people that we are.
Harvey Milk is represented in the biopic Milk as saying "They vote for us two to one if they know they know one of us." (It's also worth recalling that Milk worked with union leaders and had strong labor backing of his campaigns, and that progressive labor unions and LGBT political unions often work in concert with each other.)
When nonunion workers are facing layoffs and pay cuts and the media tells them its all the fault of unions, it's easy to see how they'd vote to undercut the power of workers who are depicted as leeches feeding off an increasingly anemic public. But if they knew that we were their neighbors, their kid's friend's parents, the people they always nod to at the supermarket, it might be different. If we talk to them about the ways that unions protect not just their members but the basic rights of all workers, they might feel differently. What if, instead of hiding our union membership out of fear of being criticized or attacked, we talk to them about the struggles of all employees and encourage them to seek the strength of unions to protect themselves rather than to tear down the organizations that helped bouy their own raises and benefits just by virtue of comparison?
This week is a week of We Are One events spreading solidarity, raising consciousness, and making demands for economic justice. Take a moment this week to identify yourself in relation to that effort. If you are a union member, or a friend or lover or kin to one, take a moment to tell someone else about that. Tell a story that helps counter the negative impression of union members in the press. Take a risk. We can't rebuild the labor movement from inside the closet.
I'm a union member, and a union leader, and I'm proud of my role in protecting rights for all workers. How about you?
Last week I met a stranger who quickly became not a stranger as we started talking about sex. When this no-longer-stranger-but-not-quite-friend found out what I did for a living they asked me if I could explain the difference between celibacy, chastity, and abstinence.
I came up with some vaguely satisfying response but in the process I realized that I didn't really know. I could think of plenty of examples of people using the words interchangeably. So why use one over the other?
I went to work this week to dig a bit deeper, and clicking on the links above will take you to the answers I found. But I was equally interested in why I hadn't bothered to think of this before.
In sex education we put a lot of emphasis on the decision to have sex the first time. When is the right time? Who is the right person? This is fair, but I wonder about the next decision, and the next. Does it make sense to only think about the first time we decide to have sex?
The answer, I think, is no. It doesn't make sense. Each decision to have sex matters and whether you've decided it once or one hundred times, the next decision may not be any easier if the circumstances are different.
This assumption, that we only need to help people think through the first time feels a bit like the assumption that underlies compulsory monogamy, that once you make the decision to enter into a monogamous relationship, no more decisions need to be made.
I think this is completely wrong, and am going to make an effort to spend more time writing about not having sex this year. Because I tend to avoid connecting my writing or education to my personal life I will abstain from commenting on the timing of this new interest.
I can't speak to what happened off stage and after the telecast, but from the vantage point of my couch, it wasn't a great night for sex at the Oscars.
From the perspective of a sexual explorer the Hollywood film to see in 2013 was Spike Jonze's Her. It offered an interesting, complicated, and fun exploration of sexual desire while challenging some of the basic ideas we have about sexuality (that monogamy is compulsory, that you need a body for sex, that in order to show us sex you have to show us something, or anything really). It's a good example of straight people thinking very queer thoughts.
Her was nominated for four awards and in the end came out with one, for original screenplay.
But unlike the Oscars or Hollywood, here at About Sexuality we think about sex all year long. So if you're jonesing for more sex at the movies, enjoy!
It's a mixed bag this week, some good, some not so good, some fantasy, some reality.
This Magazine talks dating, sex, and disability
FastCo Labs describes the Cucumber, the Dildo, his Sock, and their condom
And an Atlantic journalist gets confused by masks...................................................
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There are a lot of reasons why people who would benefit from using condoms don't. Certainly for some people it's a lack of knowledge. For a lot of others it isn't. As I was reminded recently by the powerful liturgy for a burning condom our relationship to condoms is far from simple. Getting people to use condoms isn't just a matter of convincing them that they should.
I'm not sure that the official campaign for national condom month (or week, it seems to be both) offers much in the way of complicated thoughts about condoms, but I've been thoroughly enjoying some of the writing online about the month.
I used to work for a television program about sex that would sign off each week with a rhyming euphemism for wearing a condom. I thought I heard them all, but was tickled by this bloggers reference to condoms as the workhorse of the sexual health world
And the usually fascinating RH Reality Check doesn't disappoint with a news roundup which included details of New Yorkers condom usage, a history of condom dioramas, and a story about pair of researchers who believe a better feeling condom is one that comes with electrodes.
I'm not sure I'll be celebrating national condom month with electrodes, but it warms my heart to know that someone is.
Previously: My First Condom...................................................
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Writer and advocate Janet Mock's first book, Redefining Realness My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More, made the New York Times bestseller list last week, nine days after being released. It's a reflection of the community building and public advocacy work Mock has been engaging in since before 2011, when a profile about her ran in Marie Claire magazine, it's a reflection of her education and experience as a journalist and media producer (as is frequently mentioned Mock worked for People Magazine). It's also a reflection of a particular moment the mainstream media seems to be having with trans people, or sometimes just trans-ness (since the mainstream media trades more in stereotypes than specifics).
These moments don't happen by chance. This moment is itself the result of decades of trans activism across many communities. Parents of trans and gender non-conforming kids are getting much of the credit these days (their blogs turn into books which turn into features on Oprah, 20/20, etc...). But the foundation that their struggles and public reflections are able to be visible on was cleared and made safe(ish) by trans people who came before them, and more recently, but much less visibly, by trans families.
One of the things that happens when a topic or a life becomes an object of interest to the media is that the experience represented gets flattened. There's not a lot of room for nuance or subtlety or messiness. Those aren't understood to be "good" stories to tell. Too many dimensions is too confusing either for editors themselves or for the perceived audience that editors imagine when they assign and run stories.
So it's a special kind of gift when someone is willing to insert themselves into these very public, highly condensed and sanitized conversations, and try to mess them up, at least a little.
This is one of the many things Janet Mock is trying to do, and one of the many things she does remarkably well. Even the short opening montage to a series of videos she made to introduce her new book to the world speak to the ways she is trying to resist simple narratives of the perfectly arrived person, one who has all the answers either for herself or for the rest of us.
I wanted to know more about this process and Mock kindly agreed to answer a few questions via email about her work, her new book, and getting messy with the media.
The title of your new book is Redefining Realness. Can you talk about what realness means (or has meant) to you and why we could all do with a redefinition of it?
Janet Mock: It was important for me to use language that is rooted in the trans women's community. When I hear "realness" I think about the documentary "Paris Is Burning," one of the first explorations of young trans women of color's lives. There's a fondness to the term that speaks of aspiration to actualize yourself and your dreams. I love that part of the term, but realness needs to be redefined because a lot of it is still conflated with the idea of "passing" rather than just being your authentic self, and I want it to be more about us defining ourselves and staking a claim on our ideas of identity, authenticity and realness.
A common response to your work is that people start by naming the way their experience differs from yours, but then share something about how they feel your work connects to their life. Communicating across difference isn't easy and I'm wondering if there something you do that you think makes it possible for people to recognize both different and shared experience in your work?
JM: I was trained as a journalist so I've had to communicate complex ideas to a wide audience that may not understand or have the language and knowledge to engage in such complex topics. I've brought that training to my work and understand that often times I am the first young trans woman of color people meet therefore I want to ensure that they don't only get a lens on gender but a lens on race, on class, on pop culture and media representation, on the erotic, on the multiplicities of identities. I often think that I do this work by contextualizing my own personal experiences and using those emotional experiences to move, educate and give folks language to discuss our complexities.
The process of writing a memoir must be a lot of deciding what to include and not to include. You share so much, but I'm wondering if there's anything in there that almost didn't make it in, or that you thought about leaving out?
JM: When I began to embark on this text, I committed to being absolutely honest. I tore myself open, and at times I felt such openness served the text well while other times it wasn't necessary so I scrapped some of those memories and stories. For me, the toughest to open up about was the pain my mother went through as a young woman with all of these children and a husband who was insensitive. It was tough writing about those memories because that was my mother's pain but I knew I needed to include them because her pain shaped me. Overall though, I committed to telling the whole truth about my experience because I was in service of relaying a vivid account of what my girlhood looked like to other young women whose experiences mirror mine. They deserve a "real" unedited account.
In Redefining Realness you write about your life in a way that invites the reader to consider how our lives are always positioned in a broader context (of history, politics, love, community, identity, and more). In other words, there is A LOT in this book! I'm wondering if there were particular concepts or ideas that were most important for you to convey in the book?
JM: Thank you for this. It was so important for me to convey that I am not the story, but rather I am part of a larger story, a larger machine, one that pushes young women like myself into very challenging situations. I wanted to convey that Redefining Realness is a one girl's coming-of-age, yet I cannot separate that girl from the framework of a culture that doesn't give girls like her much to thrive, and I hope to unpack those issues, from the devaluing of femininity and the personal and social dynamic of gender to the cost of medically and socially "transitioning" and the resilience of folks pushed to engage in underground economies as a means of survival.
When you appear in the media as you do I think it's easy for people to imagine your life as sort of perfect, as if having written this book means that you've got yourself and everything else figured out. Reading your book one gets a very different sense, which I appreciate, and I'm wondering if you can share a few things that you feel you're learning today, or things you're looking forward to learning more about?
JM: I'm looking forward to further honing and using my voice -- unapologetically. Often times I find myself holding back and silencing myself and I want to challenge myself to speak up and use my voice and reject this idea that as marginalized people I must come off as likable and pleasant. It's okay to express our pain and frustrations and this is something I am learning to do publicly. I want to also challenge myself when it comes to engaging with mainstream media which tends to reduce people and concepts to a soundbite. My life, our lives, are not soundbites so my challenge here is inserting complicated discourse in the public arena.
Read More: Janet Mock Official Website...................................................
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At first you may need to perform these exercises while sitting. As the muscles strengthen you can progress to exercise standing up. Like any activity, start with what you can achieve and progress from there. Remember to use your muscles whenever you exert yourself during your daily activities.
If you can feel the muscles working, exercise them by:
1. Squeezing / tightening and drawing in and up around both your anus (back passage) and urethra (bladder outlet). Lift up inside and try to hold this contraction strongly for as long as you can (1 ? 10 seconds). Keep breathing! Now release and relax. You should have a definite feeling of letting go.
2. Rest 10 ? 20 seconds ? repeat Step 1, and remember it is important to rest. If you find it easy to hold, try to hold longer and repeat as many as you are able. Work towards 12 long, strong holds.
3. Now try 5 ? 10 short, fast strong contractions.
do NOT hold your breath
do NOT push down instead of squeeze and lift
do NOT pull your tummy in tightly
do NOT tighten your buttocks and thighs.
Try to set aside 5 ? 10 minutes in your day for this exercise routine, and remember, quality is important. A few good contractions are more beneficial than many half-hearted ones and good results take time and effort.
Remember to use the muscles when you need them most. That is, always tighten before you cough, sneeze, lift, bend, get up out of a chair, etc.
How do I improve on my exercises?
Increase the length of time and number of holds you do in succession before experiencing muscle fatigue. Work towards 12 long, strong holds. Increase the number of short, fast contractions ? always do your maximum number of quality contractions.
5) Circular motions. Stop overstimulating your penis head and alter your penetration technique to a circular motion so that all your penis (hence less of the head) gets stimulated.
6) Location location location. Or rather position. Your partner on top reduces your movement and excitement (unlike you being on top doing all the work). This can greatly help the control you have and stimulation you receive.
7) Diversionary tactics! At least for your mind anyway. No, don?t think of your mother naked. Instead hold the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. This is a simple trick, effective and unknown to your lover.
8) Masturbate first. If you have been getting excited all night with your partner then the build up of anticipation is too much and will almost certainly result in premature ejaculation. Offset this by popping to the toilet and masturbating 10 minutes before you will be making your move for real.
9) Stay in control. This may encompass some other aspects of these 10 tips but if you have the mindset of being in control, instead of getting over excited, then you can withdraw at any point, cchange position, give oral stimulation and generally decide the outcome of the experience.
10) The ?behind the balls? muscle. Forget it?s scientific name. Hold this muscle or press it with your hand when you feel the urge to come. A little practise with this technique will be an immediate relief.
With these in place you will be well on your way to making a more sensual lover, a more relaxed lover, and one who is able to last longer in bed and have sex for longer until you decide your partner is sexually satisfied (well, almost!) and you are ready to join in that pleasurable sensation too.
Step 1. Begin sexual activity as usual, including stimulation of the penis, until you feel almost ready to ejaculate.
Step 2. Have your partner squeeze the end of your penis, at the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft, and maintain the squeeze for several seconds, until the urge to ejaculate passes.
Step 3. After the squeeze is released, wait for about 30 seconds, then go back to foreplay. You may notice that squeezing the penis causes it to become less erect, but when sexual stimulation is resumed, it soon regains full erection.
Step 4. If you again feel you?re about to ejaculate, have your partner repeat the squeeze process.
By repeating this as many times as necessary, you can reach the point of entering your partner without ejaculating. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.
Kegel exercises for men are relatively unknown, while these techniques were very popular with women during and after pregnancy. It is only recently that kegel exercises for men have become popular, with the Internet being the prime source of information. What these exercises do is that they target the pelvic floor muscles which control the muscles of the genitalia.
Kegel exercises for males concentrate on the pubococcygeus muscle or the PC muscle. This muscle can easily be identified by the man by trying to stop the flow of urine half way. It is not to be confused with the anal or abdominal muscles but one needs to clearly identify this muscle before beginning kegel exercises for men.
What does exercising the kegels do for the man?
This is the muscle than controls a mans erection and ejaculation. Good strength in this muscle will give a man immense control over sex and solve problems like premature ejaculation. Stamina is also greatly increased as a result.
How to begin the exercising?
A good way for men to begin kegel exercises is to start contracting and releasing the PC muscle in quick successions. Beginners will probably find it difficult to do anything more than 25 contractions at one stretch. They should try three sets of 25 contractions to start strengthening the PC muscle.
Men will find that Kegel exercises get easier to do once they get the hang of it. The best part about these techniques is that they can be done anywhere. You could sit at your computer, you can be talking on the phone, or be in any still position anywhere and do these exercises.
As one gets familiar with the control of the PC muscle, they can start trying advanced kegel exercises which are essentially more intense variations of the PC muscle training. An example of a more intense exercise would be when one is required to do long holds of the PC muscle. This is where you contract and hold the PC muscle for about 10 seconds at one stretch and then give yourself a break of about 5 seconds and then do another long hold.
Another variation of kegel exercises requires the use of a small wash cloth or a light towel. Get an erection and hang the towel on your penis. Now contract the PC muscle and try to lift the towel several times. As you start to get used it to it, move up with heavier towels until you can lift a full size beach towel! When you are able to do that, you know that your penis is in pretty good shape.
By repeating this as many times as necessary, you can reach the point of entering your partner without ejaculating. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.
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15 Tips on how to last longer in bed
1. Squeeze the head.
When you feel that you are about to ejaculate, stop and squeeze right below the head of the penis. This pushes the blood out of the penis and temporarily blocks the ejaculatory response.2. Do a Kegel.
A kegel is an exercise that will help you control your ejaculation. When you are urinating, stop mid flow for a few seconds, keep urinating, stop mid flow for a few seconds, and so on. Practice your kegels every time you urinate.3. Don't thrust.
Gently press your penis head into her clitoral head, keeping it around the entrance of the vagina, which is a very sensitive part of the vagina. Don't push all the way into the vagina, just penetrate the first 2-3 inches.4. Get some Prozac or other Stimulant.
A recent scientific study has shown that around 73 percent of men who suffered from premature ejaculation, were cured or partially cured after taking 20 milligrams of Prozac. If you are not comfortable with prescription drugs or the side effects of Prozac you can also take
Vigrx-plus which is a more natural alternative.
If she climbs on top of you , your penis is less stimulated, and she feels more in charge.6. Don't focus on the orgasm.
The more attention you give to the orgasm , the faster you will get it. During sex, try thinking of other things and this will slow down your reaction to an early ejaculation.7. Go for round 2.
If you finished early the first time, take a break and try again. It may be more difficult to get aroused, but you will definitely last longer. The more you practice this, the longer your first time will last.8. Predict your ejaculation.
There are four phases in the sexual cycle: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Try and recognize this during your sexual activity and rate your excitement from 1-10. Try staying at 7.9. Control your masterbation.
Masturbate for a longer time than you normally do. Set a longer time limit and work yourself to ejaculate around that time.10. Please her first.
Let her have an orgasm first before you. It will make her feel better both sexually, and psychologically.11. Spend more time with foreplay.
Find out what stimulates your partner and spend time doing it. If your partner takes 20 minutes to get an orgasm and you only take 5 minutes, then spend 15 minutes on foreplay, so when you enter her, you can be assured that both of you will climax together and your premature ejaculation problems will be behind you forever!12. Control your thoughts and relax your mind.
One of the main causes of premature ejaculation is when you concentrate too hard on not ejaculating fast. If you think positively that you will not climax before your partner and learn to relax, you will endure a much longer lasting and pleasant sexual experience. The ejaculation trainer is a great guide on controlling your thoughts and techniques during foreplay and intercourse.
Spend time with your partner to find the positions that will not excite you early prolonging your ejaculation. Sometimes letting your partner stay on top of you will allow her to dictate the pace, preventing you from a premature ejaculation.
Like any exercise, breathing is very important. If you can master the breathing technique of regular evenly spaced breaths you will have won a significant battle in your war against premature ejaculation.
To become good at anything you must keep practicing until you get it right. This is the reason why more mature adults are usually very 'masterful' when it comes to sex. They do not have the problem of premature ejaculation as those who are just beginning their sexual careers.