Sex and Health- All the Sex and sexual health issues that confront us

 
 

 
 

  • Sex In The Public Square
  • Change Of Address

    Change Of Address

     

    Much has changed in my life over the last few years. One change is that I've become very active with Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance. Another is that I've become even more active with my union. This latter change has created a problem for Sex In The Public Square: I have very little time to maintain this site. Fortunately, the former change provides the solution: I will now be blogging at Woodhull's web site. You will find my blog featured on the home page at http://woodhullalliance.org and it will have its own page at http://www.woodhullalliance.org/category/sex-in-the-public-square/.

    I'm excited by the move. I'll be joining folks like first amendment attorney Larry Walters, sexual freedom and education scholar-advocate Marty Klein, and the folks at AVN in providing commentary for Woodhull. 

    This site will remain here as an archive. Comments will be turned off and new content will not appear. Please join us over at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance and be part of a bigger conversation!

  • Two stories about gender inequality

    Two stories about gender inequality

     

    Two stories about gender and children caught my eye, over the last couple days. They are not at all connected to each other, but the more I thought about them, the more I realized that they illustrate very different responses to gender inequality, and that those different responses say a lot, potentially, about the structure and culture of gender in two different societies: Canada and India.

    The first story was making the rounds a few days ago on Yahoo! News. It tells the story of the Witterick-Stocker family, of Toronto, who have decided not to share the sex of their 4 month old baby Storm with anyone other than immediate family and the midwives who assisted with the delivery

    The second is a story I read in the New York Times yesterday morning, and it tells of increased rates of sex-selective abortions among well-off, well-educated women in India. Specifically, it reports on a study recently published in The Lancet, documenting the spread of sex-selective abortion practices across India over the past 20 years. The study placed particular focus on the decisions made about second children when the first child was a girl.

    What a world apart, both literally and figuratively. 

    In one society there is gender inequality but yet enough freedom that a family might decide to challenge the social structuring of gender by refusing to label their child. Theoretically this frees the child to take full advantage of those equalities that do exist and might remove some of the barriers to equality that remain. Storm's parents explain their choice in relation to this very freedom, according to Zachary Roth's Yahoo! article:

    Stocker and Witterick say the decision gives Storm the freedom to choose who he or she wants to be. "What we noticed is that parents make so many choices for their children. It's obnoxious," adds Stocker, a teacher in an alternative school.

    In the other society, gender is so powerful in the structuring of inequality that parents use it to choose whether or not a child should exist. Girls are understood to be liabilities where boys are understood to be assets. Parents with means will apparently tolerate one girl, but not a second. Education and wealth are associated with better access to health services so a family wanting to limit its liabilities and maximize its assets use the illegal practice of sex-selective abortion to end pregnancies where the fetus is categorized as female. The impact is dramatic, demographically. According to Jim Yardley's New York Times article:

    The 2011 Indian census found 914 girls for every 1,000 boys among children 6 six or younger, the lowest ratio of girls since the country gained independence in 1947. The new study estimated that 4 million to 12 million selective abortions of girls have occurred in India in the past three decades.

    We should see both stories in terms of social structure and inequality, and not purely in terms of individual choices. Storm's parents are making an individual choice, but they are doing so in a way that directly challenges the structure of the society they live in, and they are doing so because they dislike the constraints those structures impose.  Any given pair of well-off parents in India are also making choices in reaction to the constraints of social structure, and are doing so in a way that reinforces the structural constraint they are individually trying to avoid. 

    Parents should be free to choose whether or not to have a child. Children should be free to decide how to identify themselves. But our individual choices are not always as individual as we think, and often they have collective unintended consequences when we add them all up. And some of those consequences are much likely than others to move a society in the direction of justice and freedom for all.  

  • Ad Placement Fail?

    Ad Placement Fail?

    From page A18 of the May 24 edition of the New York Times

    What do you think? This Bloomingdales ad for Rag & Bone Jeans ($165.00) and silk Equipment top ($178.00) contains the tag line "MEET YOUR NEW MUST-HAVE" and depicts an Asian model staring into the camera with her lips parted. It accompanies an article with the headline "In Oakland, Redefining Sex Trade Workers as Abuse Victims" which, among many things, criticizes the 'exoticization' of Asian women in the US. 

    The article can be found online at: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/us/24oakland.html

  • Ten

    Ten

    DSC_8870Ten is the number of bodies that have been found on Long Island's southern beaches since December. The first four, all found between December 11 abd 13, were confirmed to be the remains of women who had had some experience in sex work. The next was found on March 29. Three more were found on April 4, and two were found today. The identities of those most recently found have not been determined, and police have not made a definitive statement about whether all of the murders are connected.

    So far, none has turned out to be Shannon Gilbert, the search for whom turned up these other victims.

    I suspect they will turn out to be related, victims of a serial killer who targets women who, among all of the other things that they do in their lives, also exchange sex for money. 

    SWOP-NYC has responded with a statement that rightly reminds us that the dangers of sex work are the dangers of stigmatization and isolation, and not particular to the exchange of sex for something else of value

    I just spent three days at my statewide union's Representative Assembly where health and safety was one of the key concerns. There was a singificant focus on framing issues in human rights terms. There was a lot of talk about the dignity of all humans, and the dignity of all labor. I was even impressed that when the issue of trafficking and children came up, the focus was on slave labor in the cocoa fields of Ivory Coast, and not a lurid focus on sex trafficking. 

    But I don't think my union would stand up publicly for sex workers. Not yet.

    I spent a couple of hours on Saturday at a huge labor rally in Times Square. I am sure there were people attending that rally who, in addition to all the other things they do, have also exchanged sex for money. But I did not see any sex worker advocacy signs in the block where I was standing. 

    We still separate sex from the rest of work, from the rest of pleasure, and essentially from most of everyday life. 

    The longer we relegate sex to the dark corners of our political and social discourse, the longer we will continue to find bodies hidden in the reeds of our beaches, long undiscovered because they were marginalized from the start. 

    Sexual freedom, including the consensual exchange of sex for other things of value, must come to be seen a fundamental human right. Sex is a valuable thing. The right to physical autonomy and the right to sexual pleasure and the right to earn a decent living all intersect in the phenomenon of sex work.

    Stand up publicly for your own right, and the right of others, to safely determine the conditions of each sexual exchange we make. 

     

    Photo is by Karl Monaghan (Red_Tzar on Flickr) and is used under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share Alike license.

     

  • Come out for labor rights

    Come out for labor rights

    Are you a union member, or a friend or family member of a union member? If so, please come out. Please identify yourself that way in conversations. Please stand up for unions and for the basic worker rights that they protect. 

    According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics in 2010, only 11.9 percent of workers in the US were represented by unions, and that number is only as high as it is because about a third of public sector workers are union members. 

    What does this have to do with sexuality? First of all, without unions there can be no economic justice in a capitalist society, and without economic justice, sexual freedom is impossible in any meaningful way. To fully realize our sexual freedom we need basic economic security. 

    Second, there is a lot to be learned from the coming out campaigns of the LGBT movement. When we are visible we reveal ourselves, making ourselves vulnerable, but we also become three dimensional human beings to those who have previously seen us as one-dimensional stereotypes.

    Third, there is something similar about taking a part of your life, a part of yourself, a part that you perhaps take for granted, and making it a part of your identity. I am not just a professor, I am a union member. I am not just a clerk, I am a union member. I am not just a groundskeeper, I am a union member. Union membership is something we often see as part of the background of our lives, and we need to bring it into the foreground. Again, LGBT activism gives us a model for doing this. 

    In tough economic times it is easy for people to villify or demonize a small group of people who are represented in the press as greedy, lazy, and selfish. Especially if you don't have any reason to suspect that real live union members are any different from that representation.

    But that's not who we are, and it seems to me that the only way for unions to turn the tide that is undermining them now is if we each come out of the union closet and identify ourselves to our friends and neighbors so they see us as the hard-working, community-minded, caring and dedicated people that we are.

    Harvey Milk is represented in the biopic Milk as saying "They vote for us two to one if they know they know one of us." (It's also worth recalling that Milk worked with union leaders and had strong labor backing of his campaigns, and that progressive labor unions and LGBT political unions often work in concert with each other.)

    When nonunion workers are facing layoffs and pay cuts and the media tells them its all the fault of unions, it's easy to see how they'd vote to undercut the power of workers who are depicted as leeches feeding off an increasingly anemic public. But if they knew that we were their neighbors, their kid's friend's parents, the people they always nod to at the supermarket, it might be different. If we talk to them about the ways that unions protect not just their members but the basic rights of all workers, they might feel differently. What if, instead of hiding our union membership out of fear of being criticized or attacked, we talk to them about the struggles of all employees and encourage them to seek the strength of unions to protect themselves rather than to tear down the organizations that helped bouy their own raises and benefits just by virtue of comparison? 

    This week is a week of We Are One events spreading solidarity, raising consciousness, and making demands for economic justice. Take a moment this week to identify yourself in relation to that effort. If you are a union member, or a friend or lover or kin to one, take a moment to tell someone else about that. Tell a story that helps counter the negative impression of union members in the press. Take a risk. We can't rebuild the labor movement from inside the closet. 

    I'm a union member, and a union leader, and I'm proud of my role in protecting rights for all workers. How about you? 

     

     

  • Bound, Not Gagged
  • ?SAVE? Bill would Help Traffickers and Hurt Youth, Homeless and Other Vulnerable Groups ? Take Action!

    ?SAVE? Bill would Help Traffickers and Hurt Youth, Homeless and Other Vulnerable Groups ? Take Action!
    Originally posted on Sex Worker Outreach Project - Chicago:
    Senator Kirk (IL) and Senator Feinstein (CA) recently introduced a bill (S. 2536) to the federal senate which would change requirements for placing adult advertisements, as well as record-keeping requirements for adult advertising websites. The bill, titled the “Kirk-Feinstein Stop Advertising Victims of Exploitation (SAVE) Act”…
  • Medical Survey of Human Trafficking Victims

    Medical Survey of Human Trafficking Victims
    I’ve been asked to pass this along. The survey looks at medical care recieved by victims of human trafficking in the US during the time they were trafficked. It recognizes both sex and labor trafficking. The survey is available in English, Spanish, and Haitian Creole. The intro letter: Hello, I am an emergency medicine physician […]
  • Selling Consensual Sex Means Jail. Doctor Sexually Assaults 7 Women, No Jail

    Selling Consensual Sex Means Jail. Doctor Sexually Assaults 7 Women, No Jail
    This is so wrong on so many levels.  From USA Today  31 May 2013 Seven women tearfully recounted in court how their doctor abused their trust to sexually exploit them.  Then they watched a judge sentence him to probation Thursday instead of prison. http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2013/05/31/iowa-doctor-sexual-abuse/2376235/ ALFRED, Maine (AP) ? A Zumba fitness instructor who pleaded guilty to using […]
  • Cleveland Kidnapping

    Cleveland Kidnapping
    I understand this is a bit off topic as there hasn’t been information released, to my knowledge, isn’t inherently related to sex work. Although as sex workers we are all vulnerable to this kind of situation. Some of us have faced it first hand ourselves. But for anyone who knows me or knows of me […]
  • Sex Worker Conference in Las Vegas- Register and/or Submit Your Proposal!

    Sex Worker Conference in Las Vegas- Register and/or Submit Your Proposal!
    5th Desiree Alliance Conference-The Audacity of Health: Sex Work, Health, and Politics July 14-19, 2013 Las Vegas, NV   http://desireealliance.org/conference.htm Registration is Now Open for the 5th Desiree Alliance Conference Please read the registration details below to begin the process. http://www.desireealliance.org/conference/Registration.htm Submit proposals for presentations by April 1, 2013 http://www.desireealliance.org/conference/CFP.htm The Desiree Alliance is a national […]
 
 
  • About.com Sexuality
  • Stormé Delarverie (December 24, 1920 - May 24, 2014)

    Stormé Delarverie (December 24, 1920 - May 24, 2014)

    "It was a rebellion, it was an uprising, it was a civil rights disobedience -- it wasn't no damn riot."
    - Stormé Delarverie

    From the Bronx LGBTQ Center I learned of the passing of Stormé Delarverie, who was an icon of LGBT civil rights, a key participant in the Stonewall rebellion (by many accounts, Stormé threw one of the early punches at a police officer who was beating up a young man) and by many online accounts someone with a deep capacity for love, acceptance, and resistance.

    I only knew Stormé Delarverie's name as one that was tied to the resistance and rebellion that began outside the Stonewall Inn on the night of June 27, 1969. I'm grateful to be able to read about Stormé now, an experience that offers both a history lesson and adventure (in geography, gender, musical performance, not to mention the less pleasant experiences of racism, prejudice, violence, and isolation).

    Several of the remembrances point to this 2010 profile that the New York Times did on Stormé. Having just finished Inside the Dream Palace I was not at all surpsied to learn that Stormé was a long time resident of the Chelsea Hotel. Reading about Stormé you feel that the world has lost someone who made this a much better place. But all is lost, as long as we remember. It's not enough, but it's something.

    Read More - Stormé Delarverie: Stonewall Veterans' Association

    Photo by Sam Bassett via Huffington Post

  • Should I Say Something to My Child About Masturbation?

    Should I Say Something to My Child About Masturbation?

    National Masturbation Month is almost over, and while the event is mostly a grown up celebration (probably because it was started by adult sex shops who aren't that focused on the youth market) it seems like a good excuse for parents and people with kids in their lives to think about about where masturbation does or doesn't fit into conversations about sex.

    We should start by acknowledging that not all learning happens the same way, and those differences matter.

    We learn how things work often by trying, failing, and being instructed. Or by watching others do something and mimicking them. We learn new words when we hear them, don't know what they mean, and either we ask someone older than us to explain the meaning or the definition is volunteered by the person using the word. We learn about social rules by being punished or corrected, sometimes before we do a thing, sometimes while we're doing it, sometimes after.

    When it comes to our bodies and sex learning often happens in less direct ways. Because adults don't talk about sex the same way they talk about tying your shoes or learning what the word cooperation means, we often teach by responding without words (and sometimes without really thinking much).

    Kids learn that some body parts are okay to touch and some aren't maybe because we explain it, but often because we tell them simply to take their hands "out of there". We tell them to pull their pants up, to keep their dress down. And they learn from what we say but also from our tone, from our energy. They learn by watching us respond to them.

    This is nowhere more evident then in how we teach kids about masturbation. In fact there is an added layer of complexity because when infants and toddlers are touching themselves I would argue they aren't masturbating (at least not in the sense of the word as it's used to describe a sexual activity). They are touching themselves because it feels good, yes. But it lacks the intention we usually give to masturbation and I would suggest it lacks the directed sexual energy that comes with later sexual development. Another way to put this is that when your 4-year-old touches their body to feel good it isn't the same as when your 14-year-old does it. And those differences matter.

    The added complexity comes from the fact that our response to what they are doing is very much a response to the idea of masturbation. We are in some ways responding to much more than what is happening. Which can be very confusing if you're on the receiving end of all that responding.

    So in answer to the question at the top, yes, we should be talking with kids about masturbation. To me the more important questions, the ones that are harder to answer, are what should we say and when. If you're ready to dig into those questions, here's a place to start.

    Read More: How to Talk to Kids About Masturbation

  • The Revolution Will Not Come In Pill Form

    The Revolution Will Not Come In Pill Form

    Four years ago the FDA rejected an application by drug maker Boehringer for a little pink pill, called Flibanserin. Boehringer claimed that their drug could be used to treat women with low sexual desire. The FDA rejected the drug based on a lack of evidence regarding effectiveness and concerns about side effects.

    The drug passed hands, and now Sprout Pharmaceuticals has brought the drug back to the FDA, armed with two new studies, and a new marketing technique. Their new argument for why the FDA should approve the drug (which is mostly being made by publicists for the company, scientists who have financial connections to the company, and at least one women's health organization that receives funding from the company) is that the FDA is being sexist. They point to the number of "sex drugs" available for men and the fact that there are none available for women.

    True liberation, apparently, comes in the shape of a little pink pill.

    It's a smart move. For one thing, of course the FDA is sexist (also racist, classist, homophobic, transphoibic, ableist, and more). Oppression and prejudice don't just happen on the street corner, in a bar, in a classroom or police station. Sexism is embedded in our culture and society. So you can't expect an organization that is part of the same society to be free of sexism.

    But just because the organization is sexist doesn't mean they weren't right to reject this drug. For the record desire (which is what Flibanserin is supposed to "help") is not the same thing as erection (which is what all the drugs for men "help"). Producing a physiological response and altering brain chemistry are two completely different enterprises, just as being able to get an erection and actually wanting to have sex are two completely different experiences. I know we get them confused. But the confusion is in our meaning, not our bodies.

    Last week ABC's Nightline ran a story about Sprout's new tactic with the FDA. If the piece is a harbinger of things to come, it's looking good for Sprout. Most of the focus was on this spurious idea that women's equality means women should be able to be as over medicated as men. It wasn't until the last third of the piece that they included this point:

    "Some doctors believe Flibanserin was rejected for a very simple reason: it's an ineffective drug for a non existent problem."

    The final word came from the "regular woman" who says she can't wait to fill her first prescription. When the drug is ultimately approved it will be interesting to see if women are any happier with it than men are with Viagra (a not so often cited statistic notes that more than half of first prescriptions for Viagra are never refilled).

    It's interesting to compare the Nightline story to another story that ran in Slate last month, taking apart the claims of sexism in the Flibanserin case.

    When I talk with sex researchers and scientists I often hear them say that what they do is not political. It's "hard science" it's about numbers and evidence and results. But all science is political.

    And we shouldn't forget that this isn't the first time a small number of women's groups have teamed up with the pharmaceutical industry to tell us that liberation does come in pill form. Back then, as now, we should be asking a lot of questions, among them: Liberation for who? Liberation from what?

  • (Mostly) Sex Readings of the Week

    (Mostly) Sex Readings of the Week

    Feels on Wheels: Toronto's Rose Centre (The Grid)
    A young couple in Toronto are trying to make the sexual change they want to see, one adorable and sexy profile at a time.

    10 Things You Should Say to Someone with a Chronic Illness (Pins and Procrastination)
    Not every one of these is going to really be great for every person, but I love the many simple points made in this companion piece to 15 Things Not to Say to Someone with a Chronic Illness.

    Criptiques Explores the Provocative Side of Disability (Bilerico)
    An interview with editor and provocateur Caitlin Wood on how her new anthology of disability writing got so queer.

    ...................................................

    Join the conversation!

    NEWSLETTER | TWITTER | FACEBOOK

    GOOGLE+ | CONNECT

    ..................................................
  • A Modern Parental Dilemma: Porn On My Son's Computer

    A Modern Parental Dilemma: Porn On My Son's Computer

    Parents anxiety about their kids sexuality isn't new. But there are a few particularly modern situations that parents today find themselves in. Several of them have to do with porn.

    Porn isn't new either, but the ease with which anyone (with Internet access) can find it, and the level of explicitness it offers is. What's also new is that instead of just finding porn (as other parents once did tucked under the bed or in underwear drawers) now parents are stumbling over both the porn sites and the search histories that got their kids there.

    It may be the dictionary definition of too much information.

    But there it is. Now you know it, and you've seen some of it and the question becomes: what do you do with that knowledge?

    Read More: I Found Out My Kid Is Searching for Porn

    Related: About.com Sex Questions and Answers

    ...................................................

    Join the conversation!

    NEWSLETTER | TWITTER | FACEBOOK

    GOOGLE+ | CONNECT

    ..................................................
 
 
 
 
  • Last longer in Bed | Lastlongerinbed.info
  • Last longer in bed Exercises

    Last longer in bed Exercises

    Pelvic Muscle Training

    At first you may need to perform these exercises while sitting. As the muscles strengthen you can progress to exercise standing up. Like any activity, start with what you can achieve and progress from there. Remember to use your muscles whenever you exert yourself during your daily activities.

    If you can feel the muscles working, exercise them by:

    1. Squeezing / tightening and drawing in and up around both your anus (back passage) and urethra (bladder outlet). Lift up inside and try to hold this contraction strongly for as long as you can (1 ? 10 seconds). Keep breathing! Now release and relax. You should have a definite feeling of letting go.

    2. Rest 10 ? 20 seconds ? repeat Step 1, and remember it is important to rest. If you find it easy to hold, try to hold longer and repeat as many as you are able. Work towards 12 long, strong holds.

    3. Now try 5 ? 10 short, fast strong contractions.

    do NOT hold your breath

    do NOT push down instead of squeeze and lift

    do NOT pull your tummy in tightly

    do NOT tighten your buttocks and thighs.

    Try to set aside 5 ? 10 minutes in your day for this exercise routine, and remember, quality is important. A few good contractions are more beneficial than many half-hearted ones and good results take time and effort.

    Remember to use the muscles when you need them most. That is, always tighten before you cough, sneeze, lift, bend, get up out of a chair, etc.

    How do I improve on my exercises?

    Increase the length of time and number of holds you do in succession before experiencing muscle fatigue. Work towards 12 long, strong holds. Increase the number of short, fast contractions ? always do your maximum number of quality contractions.

    5) Circular motions. Stop overstimulating your penis head and alter your penetration technique to a circular motion so that all your penis (hence less of the head) gets stimulated.

    6) Location location location. Or rather position. Your partner on top reduces your movement and excitement (unlike you being on top doing all the work). This can greatly help the control you have and stimulation you receive.

    7) Diversionary tactics! At least for your mind anyway. No, don?t think of your mother naked. Instead hold the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. This is a simple trick, effective and unknown to your lover.

    8) Masturbate first. If you have been getting excited all night with your partner then the build up of anticipation is too much and will almost certainly result in premature ejaculation. Offset this by popping to the toilet and masturbating 10 minutes before you will be making your move for real.

    9) Stay in control. This may encompass some other aspects of these 10 tips but if you have the mindset of being in control, instead of getting over excited, then you can withdraw at any point, cchange position, give oral stimulation and generally decide the outcome of the experience.

    10) The ?behind the balls? muscle. Forget it?s scientific name. Hold this muscle or press it with your hand when you feel the urge to come. A little practise with this technique will be an immediate relief.

    With these in place you will be well on your way to making a more sensual lover, a more relaxed lover, and one who is able to last longer in bed and have sex for longer until you decide your partner is sexually satisfied (well, almost!) and you are ready to join in that pleasurable sensation too.

    Squeeze Technique

    Step 1. Begin sexual activity as usual, including stimulation of the penis, until you feel almost ready to ejaculate.

    Step 2. Have your partner squeeze the end of your penis, at the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft, and maintain the squeeze for several seconds, until the urge to ejaculate passes.

    Step 3. After the squeeze is released, wait for about 30 seconds, then go back to foreplay. You may notice that squeezing the penis causes it to become less erect, but when sexual stimulation is resumed, it soon regains full erection.

    Step 4. If you again feel you?re about to ejaculate, have your partner repeat the squeeze process.

    By repeating this as many times as necessary, you can reach the point of entering your partner without ejaculating. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.


    Kegel Exercises for men

    Kegel exercises for men are relatively unknown, while these techniques were very popular with women during and after pregnancy. It is only recently that kegel exercises for men have become popular, with the Internet being the prime source of information. What these exercises do is that they target the pelvic floor muscles which control the muscles of the genitalia.

    Kegel exercises for males concentrate on the pubococcygeus muscle or the PC muscle. This muscle can easily be identified by the man by trying to stop the flow of urine half way. It is not to be confused with the anal or abdominal muscles but one needs to clearly identify this muscle before beginning kegel exercises for men.

    What does exercising the kegels do for the man?

    This is the muscle than controls a mans erection and ejaculation. Good strength in this muscle will give a man immense control over sex and solve problems like premature ejaculation. Stamina is also greatly increased as a result.

    How to begin the exercising?

    A good way for men to begin kegel exercises is to start contracting and releasing the PC muscle in quick successions. Beginners will probably find it difficult to do anything more than 25 contractions at one stretch. They should try three sets of 25 contractions to start strengthening the PC muscle.

    Men will find that Kegel exercises get easier to do once they get the hang of it. The best part about these techniques is that they can be done anywhere. You could sit at your computer, you can be talking on the phone, or be in any still position anywhere and do these exercises.

    As one gets familiar with the control of the PC muscle, they can start trying advanced kegel exercises which are essentially more intense variations of the PC muscle training. An example of a more intense exercise would be when one is required to do long holds of the PC muscle. This is where you contract and hold the PC muscle for about 10 seconds at one stretch and then give yourself a break of about 5 seconds and then do another long hold.

    Another variation of kegel exercises requires the use of a small wash cloth or a light towel. Get an erection and hang the towel on your penis. Now contract the PC muscle and try to lift the towel several times. As you start to get used it to it, move up with heavier towels until you can lift a full size beach towel! When you are able to do that, you know that your penis is in pretty good shape.
    Step 4. If you again feel you?re about to ejaculate, have your partner repeat the squeeze process.

    By repeating this as many times as necessary, you can reach the point of entering your partner without ejaculating. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.

  • Terms of Use

    Terms of Use

    BY USING THIS SITE, YOU AGREE TO THESE TERMS OF USE. 

    IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO THESE TERMS OF USE, DO NOT USE THIS SITE.



     The materials made available in this site, including materials in linked sites directly or indirectly accessible from this site, are provided "as is" without warranties of any kind, either express or implied, including but not limited to all implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, title, or noninfringement. We do not warrant that the materials will be error free, nor free of viruses, defamatory, offensive, or other harmful matter. You assume the entire cost of any necessary service, repair, or correction.   The materials that can be accessed from linked sites are not maintained by us and we are not responsible for the contents thereof. Any reference to a linked site or any specific third party product or service by name does not constitute or imply its endorsement by us, and you assume all risk with respect to its use.   Under no circumstances shall we, nor our affiliates, agents, and suppliers, be liable for any damages, including without limitation, direct, indirect, incidental, special, punitive, consequential, or other damages (including without limitation lost profits, lost revenues, or similar economic loss), whether in contract, tort, or otherwise, arising out of the use or inability to use the materials available in this site or any linked site, even if we are advised of the possibility thereof, nor for any claim by a third party.   This site is for your personal use, and you agree to use this site for lawful purposes only. You shall not copy, use, modify, transmit, distribute, reverse engineer, or in anyway exploit copyrighted or proprietary materials available in this site, except as expressly permitted by the respective owner(s) thereof. Use of any software available for downloading from the site is governed by the terms of the applicable license agreement accompanying or included with the software. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names in this site are the marks of the respective owner(s), and any unauthorized use thereof is strictly prohibited.   You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold us and our affiliates harmless from and against any and all claims, losses, liabilities, damages and expenses (including attorney's fees, errors, omissions, and incorrect pricing) arising out of your use of this site.   The terms of use shall be governed in accordance with the laws of the province of British Columbia, Canada, excluding its conflict of laws provisions. We reserve the right to add, delete, or modify any or all terms of use at any time with or without notice.

  • Privacy Policy

    Privacy Policy

    lastlongerinbed.info understands that your privacy while using our Site is important, especially when conducting business or providing sensitive personal information. This Notice will govern our Privacy Policy for users of this Site, whether or not a transaction of any sort is conducted while visiting. 


    Your Personal Information 


    The information we learn from customers helps us to personalize and continually improve our customer service, while developing ways to improve your shopping experience at lastlongerinbed.info. Following is some of the information we gather about our users. 


    ? Information You Provide Us: When you complete a Customer Profile Form on- line or communicate with us via e-mail, letter, fax or phone, we receive and store the information you've provided. This information is basic, including: name, address, phone, fax and cell phone numbers, e-mail address and business information (if applicable). We use this information that you provide for such purposes as responding to your requests, communicating with you and customizing future shopping for you.


    ? Third Party Vendors: In addition to collecting your information, we have third party vendors who will also collect your information in order to provide the products and/or services you've requested (e.g. credit card companies, fulfillment companies, call centers, marketing companies and freight companies). In general, these companies are intermediaries acting solely to provide services related to your request. Most of these vendors have their own privacy policy to protect your information, and have access to personal information needed to perform their functions on behalf of lastlongerinbed.info, but may not use the same for other purposes.


    ? Are Cookies Used On The lastlongerinbed.info Site? We use cookies to obtain a variety of information which provides us details as to what product and information interest our visitors view the most. Cookies can also be used to protect your information. If you wish to disable our cookie from obtaining this information, you can seek programs that will allow you to visit our site anonymously. 


    Does lastlongerinbed.info Share the Information It Receives? 


    Under no circumstances will we ever give away or sell your personal information to anyone else for any reason whatsoever, without prior written approval from yourself. Any information we gain through our use of customer polls, surveys, cookies, session tracking or anything else, is used internally and for the sole purpose of providing you better service. If you are on our mailing list and you ask us to remove you, we will do so immediately and will not attempt to sell your information. As we do with our own, we respect your privacy. 


    Information about our customers is an important part of our business, and we are not in the business of selling it to other companies. We share customer information only as described in this statement and with subsidiaries of lastlongerinbed.info with controls that are either subject to this Privacy Notice or follow the practice at least as protective as that described in this Notice. 


    How Secure Is Information About Me? 


    All of our employees and partners are familiar with our security policy and practices. Your personal information is only accessible to a limited number of qualified people who are given a password in order to gain access to the information. While we take commercially reasonable measures to maintain a secure site, electric communications and databases are subject to errors, tampering and break-ins, and we cannot guarantee or warrant that such events will not take place and we will not be liable for any such occurrences. You will find that almost all Internet e-commerce providers make this same claim, especially if they use privacy policy templates such as this one to make known their company or organization privacy policies. 



    Conditions of Use, Notices, and Revisions 


    If you choose to visit lastlongerinbed.info, your visit and any dispute over privacy is subject to this Notice and our Conditions of Use, including limitations on damages, arbitration of disputes, and application of the laws of the Province of British Columbia. If you have any concern about privacy at lastlongerinbed.info, please contact us with a thorough description, and we will try to resolve it. 


    Because our business changes constantly, our Privacy Notice and the Conditions of Use will change also. We may e-mail periodic reminders of our notices and conditions, unless you have instructed us not to, but you should check our Web Site frequently to see recent changes. Unless stated otherwise, our current Privacy Notice applies to all information that we have about you and your account. We stand behind the promises we make and will never materially change our policies and practices to make them less protective of customer information collected in the past without the consent of affected customers.

  • 15 Tips on how to last longer in bed

    15 Tips on how to last longer in bed
    1. Squeeze the head.

    When you feel that you are about to ejaculate, stop and squeeze right below the head of the penis. This pushes the blood out of the penis and temporarily blocks the ejaculatory response.

    2. Do a Kegel.

    A kegel is an exercise that will help you control your ejaculation. When you are urinating, stop mid flow for a few seconds, keep urinating, stop mid flow for a few seconds, and so on. Practice your kegels every time you urinate.

    3. Don't thrust.

    Gently press your penis head into her clitoral head, keeping it around the entrance of the vagina, which is a very sensitive part  of the vagina. Don't push all the way into the vagina, just penetrate the first 2-3 inches.

    4. Get some Prozac or other Stimulant.

    A recent scientific study has shown that around 73 percent of men who suffered from premature ejaculation, were cured or partially cured after taking 20 milligrams of Prozac.  If you are not comfortable with prescription drugs or the side effects of Prozac you can also take  Vigrx-plus which is a more natural alternative.

    5. Let her be on top.

    If she climbs on top of you , your penis is less stimulated, and she feels more in charge.

    6. Don't focus on the orgasm.

    The more attention you give to the orgasm , the faster you will get it. During sex, try thinking of other things and this will slow down your reaction to an early ejaculation.

    7. Go for round 2.

    If you finished early the first time, take a break and try again. It may be more difficult to get aroused, but you will definitely last longer. The more you practice this, the longer your first time will last.

    8. Predict your ejaculation.

    There are four phases in the sexual cycle: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Try and recognize this during your sexual activity and rate your excitement from 1-10. Try staying at 7.

    9. Control your masterbation.

    Masturbate for a longer time than you normally do. Set a longer time limit and work yourself to ejaculate around that time.

    10. Please her first.

    Let her have an orgasm first before you. It will make her feel better both sexually, and psychologically.

    11. Spend more time with foreplay.

    Find out what stimulates your partner and spend time doing it. If your partner takes 20 minutes to get an orgasm and you only take 5 minutes, then spend 15 minutes on foreplay, so when you enter her, you can be assured that both of you will climax together and your premature ejaculation problems will be behind you forever!

    12.  Control your thoughts and relax your mind.

    One of the main causes of premature ejaculation is when you concentrate too hard on not ejaculating fast. If you think positively that you will not climax before your partner and learn to relax, you will endure a much longer lasting and pleasant sexual experience.  The ejaculation trainer  is a great guide on controlling your thoughts and techniques during foreplay and intercourse. 

    13. Discover the best positions.

    Spend time with your partner to find the positions that will not excite you early prolonging your ejaculation. Sometimes letting your partner stay on top of you will allow her to dictate the pace, preventing you from a premature ejaculation.

    14. Control your breathing

    Like any exercise, breathing is very important. If you can master the breathing technique of regular evenly spaced breaths you will have won a significant battle in your war against premature ejaculation. 

    15. Practice often

    To become good at anything you must keep practicing until you get it right. This is the reason why more mature adults are usually very 'masterful' when it comes to sex. They do not have the problem of premature ejaculation as those who are just beginning their sexual careers.

  • Site Map

    Site Map
  •