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You?re finally over the guy whose name will go unmentioned and you?re ready to hop back on the dating wagon. But it?s been way too long since you?ve gone on a date and you?re having a hard time determining what?s a good approach for finding a fella you fancy without giving away the fact that you?re a little raw. Here are 5 ways to send out the good vibes without the desperation.

Be direct
Summer lovin? (well, spring, too ? and fall, and winter!) is all about crushing and wanting and having fun. If you?re into someone, make your intentions known. Set the wheels in motion. It needn?t be any kind of flamboyant declaration, either ? send a flirtatious open-ended Facebook message, not asking any questions, just putting yourself out there. Make sure it?s something simple that puts no pressure on him to respond because, let?s be real here, this is reverse psych 101. If he is into you, you can bet he?ll be messaging you back and will make efforts to maintain the conversation stream.

Don?t be pushy
?Hi, my name is James, and I want a girl who is needy, pushy, aggressive and desperate.? Who said that? No one, ever. So, once you?ve made your intentions known, let him do the work. A gent who?s into you will be reeled in by the bait and will respond positively. (See: FB flirt, above.) Now, if you don?t hear back from him, don?t follow up and absolutely do not try to convince yourself that he didn?t get your message. Just let it be and move on to the next guy with your dignity intact. (Don?t take it personally, either: You never know another person?s situation, and their decision to write back or not is about them, not you.)

Be touchy
If your conquest responds positively to your pursuit, and you make plans to see one another in person, make sure to set a romantic, versus a friendship, tone, right off the bat. You can accomplish this by simply touching his arm in a subtle fashion, bumping his shoulder when you walk down the street, grabbing his hand (and quickly letting go) when you are making a point ? basically, make some type of physical connection in order to test the waters and set the aforementioned tone. This makes it impossible for him to mistake that you might just be hanging out with him just because; this confirms for him that you have other intentions.

Say yes to set-ups
If you have friends that want to play matchmaker, let them do the work for you. (Kind of like tip #2.)Think of it this way: Your friends know you like no one else, and are likely to have a pretty accurate idea of what you?re looking for in a mate. Let go of the idea that going on a set-up or blind date is for people who can?t land their own lovers. In a best-case scenario, you?ll be (pleasantly) surprised by the people you meet. And if it doesn?t go well? Advantage: you ? because, since your friends did all of the Cupid targeting, you can?t be referred to as that girl that hits on every/any guy.

Date multiple men
Oh yes mama, you read that correctly. You have not just my approval but my orders to date men aplenty. When you date more than one guy at once, you aren?t as needy or overbearing. Desperation: annihilated! Sometimes clients of mine fall prey to the spell that is the initial lust for a new guy, and spend all their free time texting, Tweeting, trying to plan dates, etc. By dating multiple men, you will not only be able to easily discern the options and variety, but also know that if things don?t work out with one guy, your feelings and spirit will be safeguarded because you didn?t give too much away to one person, too soon.

The bottom line for those of you re-joining the dating scene: Be positive, believe in yourself, and trust your instincts. If you don?t hear back from new guy #1, move on to #2 (and #3 and #4 and #10 and beyond); know when to walk away from the wrong situation. The longer you linger, the more ?crazy girl? you become. That?s not good for the most important person here ? you.

Jen Kirsch is a relationship expert, columnist and blogger. For quick tips and tricks, follow her on Twitter @jen_kirsch. Read her posts every Tuesday on Slice.ca.


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Mindful Movement Centre?s Leslie Parker; photo, Laura Mroz

Two problems: I need more Zen in my life, and I really need to get back into shape. Plus, I have always had a fantasy where I do a High Round Flying Lotus Kick (yes, I made that up ? work with me, here) and land perfectly on one leg, as if I was a gymnast/Buddhist monk/karate expert. I figure I can tackle the problems, and maybe the fantasy, by trying Budokon, a sport/exercise that combines martial arts, mediation and yoga. Founded in 2000 by Cameron Shayne, it?s a series of precise movements that help you to focus on alignment, balance and flow. It?s like Kung Fu Panda everything I wanted, all rolled up together in a three-in-one combo punch: I get to kick ass and learn how to calm down, with the clear precision of a strong warrior. (Plus, Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston have given the discipline their celebrity stamp of approval, so, it?s got to be good, right? Maybe I?ll assemble my gaggle of gal pals, for a faux Charlie?s Angels team?)

The Overview
Budokon is pretty advanced. It?s all about ?the way of the spiritual warrior? ? translated from the three Japanese words that create the compound name, warrior (bu), way (do) and spirit (kon) ? and alternates precise martial arts movements with yoga, finishing with breathing exercises to calm both mind and body. On my first try, it reminds me somewhat of dance and Tai Chi, but faster and, frankly, painful.

The Procedures
I visit Toronto?s Mindful Movement Centre and join a small class of a half-dozen or so people, taught by Leslie Parker, owner of the Centre and the only certified Budokon teacher in Ontario. The yoga mats put me at ease: I?ve seen this before, I can do this. This is what people call beginner?s confidence. We start off with ?rolling waves,? which involves rolling from ?downward dog? to ?upward dog? in one fluid flow. It gets harder with the ?dancing dog? series, where we move from a ?downward dog? position, raise a leg, hook-kick it and then flip over to our side, balancing on that leg. Next, a three-part move comprised of roundhouse kick, spinning hook and cartwheel kick ? which is pretty darn hard, though I think I got the general gist of it. Then, core exercises and one drill, where we mimic different forest animals (stalking like a gorilla, jumping like a frog, etc.). Finally, the wind-down: We all sit in child pose (my favourite!) and stretch while meditating and breathing deeply.

The Conclusion
If you?re interested in trying a Budokon class ? and you should be! ? do yourself a favour and build up to it: it?s definitely not for the novice. Having an intimate knowledge of yoga certainly helps. Because my workout regimen had lapsed, my Budokon experience kind of felt like my first-ever fitness class, where everyone else was svelte and athletic and super-competent. The exercises were excruciating; I could keep up for a while but would have to take breaks and just watch everyone else. Still, it was worth it. Perhaps the best part about Budokon is that it makes you think: You must be constantly aware of where you?re placing your limbs and how you?re moving them. More than just a new sport, it?s like learning a new language. Hmm: I wonder if they have their own word ? and way ? for High Round Flying Lotus Kick?


Jen Tse is a fashion stylist and writer living in Toronto. Her work can be seen in/on DAZED Digital, NOW, Ukula, Toro and Gloss.


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Last night, the Royal Ontario Museum was given the glitz and glamour treatment as a host of VIPs and fashionable types celebrated the Fashion Incubator's 25th anniversary. The non-profit organization provides financial support to small business people who want to launch their own lines. The evening included a few fashion shows (naturally) including the TFI New Labels design competition. The winner was Edmonton designer, Sid Neigum, who was awarded with $25,000 for his efforts.

This year, TFI also teamed with Barbie and 25 Canadian designers for a Barbie-inspired challenge with a $10,000-prize attached.
The evening's shows were also graced by Canadian fashionistas and TV personalities such as ET Canada's Angie Smith, Rosie Edeh, and Kim D'Eon.

Below, are our exclusive photos from last night's festivities. Enjoy!

Last week I went out to celebrate the milestone birthday of an old friend. We have grown apart over the years, but after stopping by I realized I may have to rekindle our relationship. The old chum is Guess and the occasion was the brand's 30th anniversary. Guess, known for the sultry bombshell look, celebrated with an invitation-only event co-hosted with Flare Magazine at the recently opened Queen St. store in Toronto.

In addition to cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, a live fashion presentation and music provided by New York-based DJ Brendan Fallis (who has entertained crowds for Chanel, Dior, Victoria?s Secret and Vogue magazine) the event also coincided with the launch of a limited-edition capsule collection commemorating Guess? three-decade reign.

The Marciano brothers (AKA the founders of Guess) revisited  the vaults to find inspiration for the capsule collection which combines ?original styling and vintages washes with modern influences? for a collection of stylish, modern, on-trend clothes, shoes, jewellery and accessories.

The brothers re-released and reinvigorated iconic designs including the Eva vintage floral jeans ($148), the 30-year retro tee (with the original Guess logo), the Beverly Sophie gingham pant ($108), and the three-zip Marilyn jeans ($138)--the first Guess product.

Guess? spring collection was also on display at the event and the collection was full of colour (such a welcome change after months of drab winter palettes) and I found myself falling head-over-heels in love with the sorbet-coloured skinny jeans, jewel-toned watches and neon handbags.

The limited edition 30th anniversary capsule collection is currently available online and in-stores with prices ranging from $39 to $148.

If you're the kind of person who thinks hitting up the mall is where fashion begins and ends, then Toronto's Arts and Fashion Week is not for you. But, for the truly stylish folks in the know, this smaller, more experimental 4-day event that showcases lesser-known design talent is the place to scope out upcoming trends and names on the cusp. View our exclusive photos from the 2012 shows below.